His plan is unfolding.

I just started college and I have the first week down and it feels like a thousand more to go. I wish I could say that I am loving every minute of it, but sadly that is not the case. Don't get me wrong, I am getting use to it and things could change, but the atmosphere SUCKS. I feel like I am only one of very few Christians that walk the campus. But God is good and He has blessed me with some pretty awesome new friends that love and strive to live for the Lord. I moved out and I am now living in Beaumont. It was hard to leave the town I always knew, but it was time. I had been praying for God to lead me to a new church, send me friends that love Him and also for Him to just help me as I am moving into a new part of my life. He answered.

So here I am in a really dark place, but I feel God's hand guiding me through and lighting my path. It's like He is unfolding His plan for my life right in front of me. Literally. I cannot help but trust in Him because He has proven Himself faithful time and time again. As I put my trust in Him, He has answered every one of my prayers.

 He has led me to a Bible believing church that is growing and has given me opportunities to minister there. I had been praying for this even during the summer and God just started pulling me toward this church. Before I even left Central Baptist I knew that was where I was suppose to go then God just kept confirming that to me so I could not doubt. He sometimes goes beyond what we ask for. So when I walked into that church I just knew. I actually knew the Pastor, Casey, from camp over the summer. But had no idea he was a pastor or that I would be going to his church. I had lunch with him and his wife today and it was such a blessing. I got to share my heart about Ghana and they got to share theirs. Prayers were answered. I know that I am suppose to be there. His ministry is to reach. He wants to go beyond the church walls. There are mission opportunities and that is so exciting because that is what I'm called to do. We all are called to go, but I'm just super passionate about it and I wish more Christians would be too.

He has also sent me those friends that I asked for. They really love the Lord and it shows in everything they do. Not only are they my friends, but they also have a Wednesday night Bible study that I attend and Joey's son, Tony, leads it. I am learning so much and I am so blessed to be apart of it. He also sent me a really awesome girl friend. I have specifically been praying for that and she shares the same heart about missions. She is passionate about Vietnam and God is doing amazing things in and through her. That is so encouraging.

Here lately I have been just broken because I miss Ghana so much. I miss their cute little dirty faces, funky smells, holey clothes, bright white smiles, and big brown eyes. It was almost unbearable the other night. I got on my knees and prayed. I poured out my broken heart, I prayed for them, and for my return. I opened up my Bible and read John 15. In this passage God reassured me. He spoke so much hope in to my heart. It was just one of those moments where you can't do anything or say anything because you are so mesmerized by who God is. Like who am I for You to even know my name? I am so unworthy of everything God has given me, but He calls me friend. It is only by grace alone. And then to top it off, I got a call this morning from those kids that stole my heart. I was blessed in that moment.

I am also praying for a job. So please be praying also for a job that will work with my schedule and not consume me or interfere with my main priorities. I recently submitted my application to Harbor Hospice and I am really hoping to hear from them soon. Thank you thank you thank you. :)

So overall God has been doing major work in my life. He is so faithful and I give all the glory to Him. This is by His hand alone. I had no part. He is growing me up in my faith and I have never felt so close to Him. If you do not know Christ as your Saviour please begin to seek Him. When you do He will pull you in and you will realize just how much better God is than this world that will never satisfy you like He will.

"Jesus replied, "Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never thirst again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life."" -John 4:13-14

My Journey to Ghana, West-Africa.

 



   I recently just got back from a 10 day mission trip to Ghana, West-Africa in a small village called Kotokata along with a team of 20 that I spent the summer with serving at a Baptist encampment. These are my writings from beginning to end. I hope through these recordings God will open your eyes to what a magnificent and HUGE God He is and how much He loves you and the rest of the world. I am merely just a human. Just because I traveled all the way to Africa and gave up my summer to serve makes me no better than you. I am only doing what Jesus commanded us all to do.. Follow Him. If you are a Christian that doesn't mean you have to go to a third world country to do this. I was simply given an opportunity and said yes. If you are not a Christian, I hope that you are drawn closer to Him through my encounters.

   As soon as we arrived to the Houston airport a black lady pulled up next to us and asked about our tye-dye Pray for Ghana t-shirts. We replied that we are going on a mission trip to Ghana, West-Africa. She was excited as she told us that she is from Ghana and that she will be praying for us. Before she left I took a glimpse at what was on her rear view mirror.. It had 23rd Psalm written on it. I don't believe that was coincidence. God was just reassuring us.

Witnessing to the English boy at the airport in Spain.

   We were waiting to board our flight in Madrid to Africa and a random boy from England sat next to us. We began to carry on conversations with him and he was a really cool guy. Funny, cute accent, outgoing, adventurous, but undecided in his beliefs. Andy spoke to him some about Jesus and later I came up and asked him about his faith as well. He was very open. He told me that there are so many beliefs out there and he doesn't want to just pick one without knowing more about it. He wants to gather information and experience. So I asked him if he was seeking that. He hesitated when he replied no, not really. So I told him that there is one true God. One. And that He will change his life. I also added that this moment was not a coincidence. The subject changed and God laid on my heart to give him a Bible that I asked for at Sunday school last Sunday. I wanted the little pocket Bible to put in my satchel for Ghana so I will always have a Bible with me. Little did I know that God was up to something and that the Bible was for this boy. He was getting up to leave and I gave him the little New Testament Bible and told him to read the book of John. I told him that this is my God and he will find his answers. After everything was said and done Andy began to explain to us that God sets up divine appointments and that we can't let that slip away by not opening our mouths. God is already working before we even set foot in Africa. But in order for anything to happen I have to be obedient in what He tells me to do. There has been many times when people have asked about our shirts and every time I let an opportunity to witness to someone slip away. Except for this moment and God moved. I am grateful God opened my eyes and showed me that the mission is not just in Ghana, it is everywhere I go.

Spotted this outside of the plane window in Madrid.
He is everywhere.

 
While we were in Madrid airport shopping a lady that worked in the store came up to me and Kayla and told us to please pray for Nigeria as well as for Ghana. She said that her country is trying to be taken over by Muslims. She said that there are more Christians than Muslims and that this cannot happen. She said that God is going to protect them and she trusts in Him, but to pray because that is God's land. It was such a sweet moment. I seen the hurt in her eyes for her country. God is working all over the world.



In the Tra-Tra. About to head to the village!

   When we got out of the airport in Africa Patti (Jojo's wife), Agnes (Jojo's adopted daughter), and Sara (Anges's bestfriend) were waiting for us out side. Without ever seeing them in person I knew exactly who they were. I hugged them and they were so excited that we were finally there. Some friends of Joey helped us get our luggage to the Tra-Tra (very slow bus). The Tra-Tra was fairly small, but managed to fit 33 people. We were packed in pretty tight. As I watched all of the people work together as they put our stuff on top of the bus and seeing all the happy faces.. It hit me and the tears came. I am finally in the long awaited Africa and I am surrounded by the most friendliest people I have ever met in my life. I sat between two precious children. The girl, Mavis, was very shy but such a sweetheart. And the little boy, Manesseh, never said a word. But about two hours into the drive they were both asleep in my lap. The entire trip from the airport was about 5 hours. I didn't get to see much because it was so dark. The weather in Ghana was cool, it's not at all what I expected Africa to feel like. The mosquitoes were not bad and I haven't seen any animals except for goats and chickens. The village has no electricity so when we got here we had to function with no lights. I also got to take a super cold rainwater shower and use a toilet where you scoop saw dust mush into the bottom when you get done with your business. It's not that bad actually. When you are where God wants you those things become so small. I know God's hand is going to move in a mighty way this week.. I cannot wait to see what He is going to do.

Canoeing on the river, basking in God's beauty.

   I was one of the first to wake up this morning. I got up and went outside and there were cute little African faces everywhere. Yaw took a liking to me and crawled up in my lap and he has been right by my side ever since. He likes to hold my hands and play with my hair. He's not very talkative yet and knows some English. His little brother Kofi is the complete opposite. He runs around and is always making weird noises and being silly. They are both adorable and both stole my heart. Yaw, when sitting in my lap, started pulling my arm hair and rubbing my skin. I also noticed that Yaw is very caring and pays attention to the details. I had hair in my mouth and he pulled me down to his level and got it out for me. He also cares for his little sister, who is just a baby, by giving her water and fixing her shirt when it is falling off of her. Nick was really dirty and Yaw started wiping him off. He has such a sweet heart. As I met a lot of the kids I learned their names quickly and by the end of the day they warmed up to me. Simon and Josephine were others that stole my heart too. I got to know the teenagers as well and formed close friendships with them. After breakfast we played with them and then we set off to different villages greeting different people. They were very very welcoming and as soon as they seen us they immediately started smiling and waving at us. I was surprised that there is actually quite a few people that know some English as we walked through the villages. One connection that I was able to make with them was by taking their picture and showing them. They simply laugh at their selfs. The kids really love it and act so silly in front of the camera. I love to see their happiness. It's always overflowing. We were able to go canoeing on the river and the scenery was breathtaking. What a magnificent God we have. I could not help but praise Him. We were offered coconut in one village. They had a boy climb up to the top of a tree to get it down and they prepared it for us as we visited them. They offered us so much that I was so full of coconut I could puke, and they continued offering it and we finally had to tell them no more. When we came back at around 4, the number of children multiplied. There were people EVERYWHERE! We had a really good dinner, but I broke into tears as I was eating because there were so many children sitting on the ground watching. After dinner we played some more and taught some of them Ninja tag. That was too funny!! I wish I would have got a clip of Yaw on my camera playing. He was so sneaky. Our boys also taught the boys in the village how to play American football. They finally got the hang of it and were actually pretty good. They had so much fun. At the end of the night they watched Chronicles of Narnia on a projector running off the generator. It was a good day and tomorrow is the start of VBS! The kids are so excited! Steven played a song for them as he was setting up. Claysey jumped in and started showing some of the kids the dance and they started dancing along. It was the sweetest thing ever! It is going to be a great week. Yes, they are going to have a blast, but most importantly they are going to learn about Jesus.

VBS! They were singing and dancing to their theme song.

   I woke up this morning and Kofi and Yaw were there to greet me. As we were talking at breakfast about our first day it started to sink in. At first I was overwhelmed when I came here, now it is all starting to hit me, the reality of it. I am now grieved by the smiling faces that rarely smile except when we play with them and the skinny bodies and the little scrapes that go unfixed, their internal emptiness that shows through their big beautiful brown eyes. I cherish every moment I get to spend with them and hear their laughter. I seen a lot of smiles today. It was the start of Vacation Bible School! They all looked very skeptical about the program at first, but they picked up very quickly. The crafts, which is what I taught, was hectic at first with the little ones, but as the ages grew it became easier. They made coffee filter butterflies. Some are very artistic. We did not have lunch today so I grabbed some snacks and fed the children around me as we watched the teenagers play some intense soccer. They loved my applesauce to-go and slim jims. At dinner we had a lot of food. I gave most of my food to Kofi and Yaw. Every time I would place food in their hand they replied with thank you. I talked to Claysey afterwards about them and she said their family cannot really provide for them and their dad is an alcoholic. I try to love on them as much as I can. After dinner, we went to town and got some yogurt. There were so many hills on the way so I am pretty warn out right now. I do not see how the people do it. Always on foot and always carrying something on their head and sometimes a baby on their back at the same time. Tomorrow is another day of VBS. It was a good day.

Crafts! This is Kofi, being Kofi. :)

   Today has been the best day so far. Joey presented the Gospel to us at breakfast and gave us some information about their culture so we will know what to expect if we get to share the Gospel with anyone. Crafts today was AWESOME! They colored plates and we put paint on their hands and they did their hand prints. They LOVED it. They also loved the stickers we gave them. They put them on their faces and it seemed like their laugher was unending.  When it was time for the older kids to do their VBS in the evening they loved it just as much as the little kids did. The teenagers get so into what they are doing. If we gave plates, crayons, and stickers to teenagers in America they would look at us like we are stupid. After VBS I played with the kids. They chased me, tickled me, we danced, and the little boys pinched my arms. Their smiles will not leave my mind. We also played Gaga! They absolutely loved it, and caught on very quickly. At dinner we had more good food. Yaw and Kofi sat right next to me and I fed them most of my plate. When we were done they got half finished plates that people we were done with and ate it also. They even ate food off the ground. It broke my heart to watch that. After supper God moved. Steven sang and played the guitar as we worshipped. Yaw was sitting in my lap and tears filled my eyes. I never want to let him go. He fell asleep in my arms and woke up coughing and then went home in the dark. We continued to sing and my heart was full of hurt. Hurt for the children, hurt for the lost. Something that has been heavy on my heart even in the states is how can I reach all of these people. The people driving past me in their cars, the people in the mall, the people in all the houses I flew over coming to Africa, and the people in the village that have worshipped juju gods and have a misconception of Jesus and the Gospel. It hurts me. I want them all to know about this God I serve. This God that loves them so much. This God, Jesus, that is alive! They may never understand. At the end we sang a song that went like this.. We went through every person gathered around and replaced their name. ____ God loves you. ____ God cares. ____ God has a plan for you. Hearing those words were so sweet. And in that moment when my name was being sang someone I have been praying for all summer that does not have a strong relationship with Christ came to me and kneeled beside me. I looked up and it was Trent. We have had many ins and outs this summer so when he came to me it was an answered prayer. He was crying as much as I was and I hugged his neck and reminded him how much God loves him and that this moment is the reason he is here. I told him to give everything to God. Everyone sang around us. It was such a God-filled moment. I am expecting another great day.

Their sweet smiles.

   Church this morning filled me with awe. It is nothing like America. Today reminded me that Jesus is alive and He is working all around the world. Every seat on the benches were full. They danced and sang to God without holding anything back. The joy was overflowing and so were my tears. Their faith is so genuine. As I sat in the church and watched these people worship our creator I realized that this is real. They are worshipping the one true God. They get it. They have hope and direction and I understand why they cannot help but dance and sing praises. And what is even more awesome is that God is sitting on His throne receiving all the Glory. The message was brought by Jordan Swearingen about the great commission and I was able to share my testimony. God is so good. My fear of speaking in front of others did not phase me. The nerves left. I can only hope that my testimony touched at least one heart in the building. After church I played with the kids. We took a lot of pictures because they absolutely love it. At dinner all of the children where gathered around us and I could not get myself out of the chair to get food. I looked around and I hurt. How could I eat and not give every single one of these children that were looking at the food something to fill their stomachs? I noticed a man with two small children sitting there watching us. The tears came pouring and Jojo took my hand and told me it was okay to hurt. He said that even though there is hurt, there is joy. He told me to find that joy because it is there. I got up and made that man some food. He didn't say a word but I did not care. I watched him eat and feed his children and I knew that is what God wanted me to do. I hope that he seen Christ. I sat looking at everything around me while Mikeal was playing the guitar. Everyone was eating and I just basked in that moment. I never wanted to leave it. The kids were either eating our unfinished plates or smiling. The team was fellowshipping with each other and loving on the kids. God was there. After supper we went to take a walk through the jungle to see one of Jojo's friends. It was a long walk but gosh it was beautiful. When I got back from visiting I got the news that when I was gone Yaw's mom came and beat him and Sarah had to run her off. From what I heard it was pretty bad. I thank God that I was not there to witness that. It would have probably hurt me more than it hurt him. I am left broken because sweet little Yaw is back home and I cannot be there to console him. I just want to hold him.

Simon.

   Today was our last full day in the village. I spent most of it loving on the kids. I don't know how tomorrow is going to go. This is all so hard for me. I tried to block the vision of getting on a plane and going back to the states out of my head because I know that if I don't, I would spend the entire day crying. At the end of the day we sat together and shared what God has showed us and what he is saying to us. I could not get through my testimony without tears. My heart has just been so heavy. I held Simon in my lap and kissed his cheeks every second I could because I knew this was going to be the last time I would hold him. He was constantly moving from scratching. Little bumps covered his body and I just wanted to take them away. God has put small things right in my face to confirm my calling to be a nurse. I have been praying that he would show me what he wants me to do with my life and how He wants me to serve Him. And He has done just that. I wasn't sure if nursing was His plan, but now I am. He has spoken to me through other people without them even knowing and made sores, coughs, and high fevers stand out to me and allowed me to be there for the one's hurting. To show them compassion and console them in their pain. As soon as I get my school paid for I will be on the mission field serving God and loving those who are at their weakest. Where He wants me.. I don't know, but I will be back to this small village again. My heart is there. Even though I was only there ten short days.. I see things differently. This almost unimaginable world I have stepped off in became real so fast. Nothing will ever be the same.

God's Glory displayed through His creation.

   Leaving this morning was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I woke up and got my stuff together and sat outside. Simon was there and I held him in my lap. I told Yaw and Kofi yesterday to be here early in the morning.. But the time was getting closer to leave and there was no sign of them. Finally, they came around the corner. The staff was giving them hugs and I sat in my chair holding Simon in tears waiting for my turn to say goodbye. I put them all in my lap and held onto them for as long as I could and while I did I watched the water well looking for beautiful Josephine. Then Clasey came walking up holding Josephine's hand. She was dressed in her wrap and she looked as pretty as she could be. My heart broke because I knew that this was going to be the last time for a while that I would see them. It was finally time to go and I told them bye and hugged them as tight as I could. Yaw looked at me and wiped away my tears with his rough little hands. I got on the bus and just wept. As I looked out the window I seen Josephine waving at me with a big smile. It was so hard to get her to smile sometimes because the other kids made fun of her because she just lost her two front teeth so she was embarrassed and tried to always hide it. And then as we turned around I seen Yaw sitting by a post next to the church waving at me and Kofi was jumping around like usual. We pulled out and Simon was swinging on the swing set that we built by the school. My heart was hurting. I never felt so much pain before. But like Joey said.. Where there is hurt there is also joy. I found that joy. I found it in their laughter and smiles. I found it in God's greater plan. I found it in the memories that will never fade. I found it in the hope of my return to this off the map village to love them again. The rest of the day we spent most of our time on the Tra-Tra. We went to a canopy walk and some of the older teenagers that I grew close to over the eight days went with us. We walked through the jungle at the top of the trees on a rope bridge. I was pretty freaked out but it was absolutely beautiful. I was able to see God's beauty through His creation. Then we went shopping after getting lost and having to walk to the market place. Next stop was the airport. Saying goodbye to my good friends and getting on the plane was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

I hope they all felt the love of Christ.
This is Yaw, Kofi, and myself.

   Overall, this journey has been an eye opener for me. Sometimes God puts you places just so He can remove the scales off your eyes that have blinded you for so long. So he can really show you what the world is like outside of your bubble. He allowed me to see others through His eyes, and showed me how to minister to them by loving them unconditionally like He has loved us. He showed me that the harvest is plentiful and that I am called to GO. He showed me that He is bigger than I have made Him out to be and that His presence is everywhere. He showed me what it really means to be selfless. He showed me that I have a lot of unnecessary junk in my life that hinders me from being who He yearns for me to be. He has changed my life through this trip and I will never be the same. Even though I did not see thousands of salvations or witness the blind being healed, He had a plan. He let me see these things so I would be prepared when He sends me out again. I do not want to waste my life. In a blink of an eye it will be over. So I want to love. I want to love every person I come across so they know that there is a God that loves them even more. I want to build relationships and lift others above myself so they can see the love and grace of the God I serve. It is not about me, it is all for the Glory of God. Let this be a testimony of His unconditional love and His unfinished work that He promises to complete: "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." Philippians 1:6.

Eating.

   When we arrived back to the states I called my mom immediately. I had not talked to her the entire time I was away so it was really good being able to hear her voice. When we left the airport the team went out to eat at Chili's. The hurt came back. The waiter came up to our table greeting us with "It's time for some good ole American food.. I know ya'll are hungry so we will get those appetizer orders first." And the people that just seen the same things I have seen and experienced the same situations I experienced were more worried about their cheese burgers than the reality of what we just came from. Was I the only one that felt this way? I played back pictures in my head of feeding the children my plate and putting food in their hands. I sat quietly in my chair at the table and felt so distanced from everyone else. I just didn't understand. When arrived back at the camp and my family was there to greet me. As I got out of the van and hugged my mom I looked down on the ground and spotted a piece of tree bark that was shaped like Africa. It might seem crazy to you, but I don't think that was coincidence.

Me and beautiful Josephine.

   When I woke up the next morning I felt a bit lost. I sat in the comfort of my home missing the kids and replaying memories in my head. I spent a lot of my time crying and trying to think of what they were doing at the same moment I was. I went to sleep fairly early and the next day was no easier. I woke up and got ready to have lunch with my youth minister and his wife. This was the first time I was able to share about my experiences in Ghana. They understood because they have been on missions their selves and experienced some of the same things. They comforted me as I was telling them about my trip and the struggles I am having now. They never fail to encourage me and lift me up. I love you guys.

The older kids at VBS.

   So that is the story. Please pray for me as I hurt and also pray for this village that God is moving in. The total of children at Vacation Bible School was about 300 give or take. That means 300 children heard about the true Jesus. Praise God.

The younger kids at VBS.

Challenged.

This past week has been very busy. SNBA youth camp came in and so did my church and the surrounding Buna churches. It was so good to see familiar faces every day and kids that I have built relationships with over the very short few years I was in the youth group. I seen Jesus working in everyone of their lives. Although I was behind the scenes and did not get to spend a lot of time with them, it was evident that they were growing. I've missed my church so much and to see God alive and moving fills me with joy.

God also gave me many more opportunities to speak. Mikeal and I both spoke to the seniors about how God brought us to this camp, what He is doing through this summer, and give them a little insight on what we will be doing in Ghana. I got to encourage them to think about this as an opportunity for next summer. I also got to share with my church what God has been teaching me and how my summer has been going. I was only able to do these things through Christ. It still amazes me how God took my biggest fear and said, "You're going to be bold and fearless.. You're going to speak."

One thing that touched me the most this week was the morning before the campers left. We always have one service sometime during the week where all the staff goes and the camp prays over us and takes up an offering. Well for a while now I have been wondering: am I making an impact? Previously that week I was on the ropes course and I was just having normal conversation with some of the campers and encouraging them as I belayed them up the rock wall. And throughout the week I learned their names and would talk to them as they came through the serving line or while I was sitting in the gift shop. So the last morning all the staff scattered across the room and the opportunity for the camp to come and lay hands on us was given. As I am standing there two of the girls that I had talked to sporadically throughout the week came walking up to me and took my hands. Tears immediately came running down my face. It reminded me that what I am doing is making a difference. I love those moments when God reassures me.

Africa is getting closer and will be here before you know it. It's so hard to believe. I have so many emotions that run through me when I think about this mission trip. I believe God is going to move mountains. Not only in the lives of the children and people we will be witnessing to, but in my life as well. I think this is going to be a major life change for me. God has already been teaching me and preparing me for this trip throughout the summer and I have never felt so close to Him. Jojo has really been challenging me spiritually here lately and that's just what I need. Our Bible studies have been so deep. I see my faith in a new perspective now. He is so radical for Jesus and he passes that right along to me. I am truly grateful for him and his faithfulness to God, the ministry, and to us.

This week I am stuck in the kitchen. I have no interaction with anyone outside of the kitchen. Ever. And I am not exactly blessed with the gift of cooking either. Although, I am making the best of it. So continue to pray for me.. I burnt the toast today.

"How far would you go for Me?"

This week hasn't been what the past weeks have been. I wasn't in a very good mood half the time and I didn't feel like God was moving. I had skipped reading my Bible here and there and my prayer was dead. I'm guessing that was the cause. When we finally got off Saturday afternoon, on my way home I just let it all out and talked with God. I felt a million times better. I have now realized prayer is vital and when I don't talk to God then everything is off. I am going to try and start a prayer journal.

Last night I went over to Amber and Scott's and just talked about what was going on in my life and in theirs. I am so grateful that God has placed them in my life. They have made a huge impact in me and are constantly encouraging me and helping me through struggles and are there through the good times as well.

Sunday morning I got up and went to Sunday school. God moved in my heart. This was something that hit me pretty hard. We talked about Daniel and the story that got him thrown into the lion's den. Daniel wasn't very liked because of the king's favor towards him. The high officers and administators tried to get rid of him, but couldn't find any fault. So they concluded that the only way of accusing him would be in his religion. So they passed a law that stated that for 30 days if anyone prays to any God excpet for the king they would be thrown into the lion's den. Now this is the part that put knots in my stomach:

But when Daniel learned that the law had been signed, he went home and knelt down as usual in his upstairs room, with its windows open toward Jerusalem. He prayed three times a day, just as he had always done, giving thanks to his God. -Daniel 6:10

Hold that thought.

When I went back for evening Bible study we talked about Paul. This hit me just as hard.

Are they servants of Christ? I know I sound like a madman, but I have served him far more! I have worked harder, been put in prison more often, been whipped times without number, and faced death again and again. Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. I have traveled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not. I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm.
-2 Corinthians 11:23-27

So let's put this all together! As soon as Daniel found out that they passed this law he IMEDIATELY went up to the top room of his house, opened the windows for everyone to see, and prayed to his God. He knew the concequences and he prayed anyway. Now looking at Paul, he was imprisioned, whipped, faced death, beaten, stoned, shipwrecked, faced danger, worked hard, went sleepless, went hungry and thirsty, and didn't have enough clothing to keep him warm in the cold all for the Gospel. These two men made the choice to, at all cost, serve the Lord. So through all of this, God left me with this question: "How far would you go for Me?" My answer: I do not know. Would I claim the name of Christ if I was face to face to death or would I deny Him to live? I wish I could answer this with a absolute 100 percent yes, but who would I be fooling? Not God. He knows my heart. So at the end of the day on my drive back up to camp, I asked God to give me the faith of Paul and Daniel. To make me fearless. I want to be a disiple for Jesus that will give everything to follow him. Not just some parts of my life, but my entire life. I read a little more into 2 Corinthians 12 and I came aross this:

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. -2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Although I am, as it seems to me, weak in this aspect of my walk with Christ, God says that His power works best in weakness. That I will be made strong. So I take heart in this weakness, because I believe God is going to change me through it. And when He does, I will be able to take pleasure in the insults, hardships, persecutions, troubles, and suffering that follow.

A moving week.

I finally have time to blog because I am off today and tomorrow. Although this week was absolutely amazing, I needed some rest. I slept until twelve today and I still feel like I could sleep more. As you know, we had the special needs camp come in this week and they will also be here next week as well.  This camp was truly a blessing.

At first, I was very disappointed at this camp because I was stuck in the kitchen and had no interaction with these kids at all. We don't really have a lot of interaction anyway because this camp is not put together by ETBE. It's kind of like a camp that is just using our facility. The counselors and staff came in several days early to set up and get things together. I was quick to realize that these young adults were VERY different. At every meal they would holler, sing, stand on top of chairs, and put pickles on each other's faces. When I asked them their name they would respond with something off the wall. They all had nicknames that they went by. I'm not going to lie, these people scared me. But after getting to know them, and seeing them with their kids I realized why they do the things they do. Although it was weird at first, it made sense when the campers got there. They had to get into their world. They had to keep them entertained and always laughing, because these kids are very special and have to have a different kind of attention than us. A few days into the camp I was able to work the ropes course with them and for the first time have interaction with them. I was in tears by the end of the day. I witnessed these beautiful children overcome their fears and swing on our huge swing at the ropes course. I seen them freak out, cry, scream to the top of their lungs, and just about knock me off the ladder, but as soon as we got them hooked up and released the swing, everything went calm. They had so much joy and felt so free. They thought they were birds and would let their arms out and fly. This melted my heart. The next day I life guarded while they were at the pool. This was another amazing experience. It was a beautiful day out side, and it was so peaceful. It seemed almost perfect, and when the kids got to the pool they didn't have a worry in the world. There was one girl who was scared to jump off the diving board. Two counselors held her hands as she walked to the edge. She stood there for a good 10 minutes and everyone in the pool was chanting her name and when they would start to die down because she wouldn't jump she would holler out, "just keep going!!" She finally jumped and everyone cheered for her. She got out and with a huge smile said, "I want to do that again." This moment was beautiful. I've never witnessed anything like it. This week blew me away and there is still another week to go!

Another thing that moved me this week was the amount of growth that we have had in our "family."

Brian- He has never been very vocal about his faith. But after having a late night conversation with one of the Camp Blessing's 17 year old Cabin Leaders, God moved in his heart and shown a light on what he was blinded by. Every morning we have devotion and we forgot to assign someone to do it for the day after Brian had his talk with this guy. I believe it was all God's plan anyway because Brian volunteered to do it and shared what happened and how God spoke to him. He told us that Steven told him to close his eyes and picture his full name, and think of one word that summed up who he is. He chose athletic. He then said when he got back to the house he began to think about it and God showed him that actually his word was prideful. He shared that all his life it was about his accomplishments and how he made sure no one measured up to him. He then went on about how it should not be about him, but about God. This is a huge step for him and I know that God is changing him into the man he was created to be.

James- He was called on to pray one day and he said no. Now he has prayed in front of people a few times and that was a big step for him as well.

Trent- Trent is taking very small steps forward. He spent his days off with Joey and he came back somewhat different. I think he really needed that. He is being more open in Bible study and participating more too. I also seen his heart for children while we were working the ropes course together. I see God changing his hard heart a little at a time.

Also, last night was probably the best night I have had in a very long time. Claire, Mikeal, James, Caleb, and myself went out to eat and just hung out. You know you are in good company when you are having a great time not doing a lot of anything.

Continue to keep me lifted in prayer as I take on another week. I will also be sending out letter's for my mission trip soon so if you would like to be on my team please send me your address via text or Facebook.

It's not about me.

I am finally home and able to take a break so I wanted to catch you guys up on what has been going on the past few days. Thursday I went to orientation for Lamar and it was miserable. I had so many things go wrong and I sat in a room all day staring at a carpet wall. Yes, carpet. Why it wasn't on the floor I do not know. Anyway, I did not even get to finish all my stuff because I was there so late and a lot of the people that work there left. It was a relief to come back to the camp. Even though it's hard work, I'm surrounded by the Lord and His people. That makes all the difference.

 Also this week one of our staffer's, Brandon Gilbert, got really sick throwing up and his stomach was hurting him. They took him to the hospital and they did surgery to remove his appendix. He is now in recovery and should be back with us very soon. He is such a strong person and I know he will bounce back fast. I miss him so much already. Keep him lifted in prayer even though he is doing great. I'm just ready for him to be back at the camp.

So the other night we had Bible study with this week's camp pastor. He opened my eyes and also left me mind blown. This guy has such a passion for God's word and could quote scripture like no one's business. He has read the Bible twice a year for seventeen years. And everything that comes from his mouth is Truth. We had a Q&A session and he answered a lot of our tough questions, but the main thing I got out of it was that it's not about me. Everything I am, my plans, my life, my struggles, and blessings are nothing. I am simply here to bring God glory in everything. Creation, the continuous downfall and rising of God's people, Christ's birth, death, and resurrection, and everything in between was set in place to glorify God and to magnify His name. It's not about us. It never was and never will be. I am now trying to live my life with that mindset. In all circumstances I want to take the focus off of myself. I want to find satisfaction in knowing God for who He really is. Ryan quoted this entire passage of scripture:

Psalm 29.
Honor the Lord, you heavenly beings;
honor the Lord for his glory and strength.
Honor the Lord for the glory of his name.
Worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness.

The voice of the Lord echoes above the sea.
The God of glory thunders.
The Lord thunders over the mighty sea.
The voice of the Lord is powerful;
the voice of the Lord is majestic.
The voice of the Lord splits the mighty cedars;
the Lord shatters the cedars of Lebanon.

He makes Lebanon’s mountains skip like a calf;
he makes Mount Hermon leap like a young wild ox.
The voice of the Lord strikes with bolts of lightning.
The voice of the Lord makes the barren wilderness quake;
the Lord shakes the wilderness of Kadesh.
The voice of the Lord twists mighty oaks and strips the forests bare.
In his Temple everyone shouts, “Glory!”

The Lord rules over the floodwaters.
The Lord reigns as king forever.
The Lord gives his people strength.
The Lord blesses them with peace.

This is God. This is the God that I want to know more and more. I want this power to reign over my life.

Moving on.. Saturday the campers left and so did the band, Ryan, and the rec team. I had such a great week getting to know some of these people. The band was phenomenal. Ryan was an inspiration and the rec team showed Jesus through everything they did. I got to really know one guy from the rec team and we had coffee late Saturday night. It was so great to talk about the Lord and what He is doing in our lives. It was also encouraging to know that there are guys out there that strive to live for Jesus. I am soooo thankful for this new friendship. We plan on reading through the entire Bible together as well as starting to memorize scripture.

It was good to see my church family this morning. And then I came home and took a 8 hour nap. It was much needed.. It's like when I am finally able to stop and rest it hits me and I go out for hours. I also just want to add how thankful I am for my dad since it is Father's Day. He is such a big part of my life. He has always been there when my real dad wasn't. He picked up the slack and treated me as his very own. He has taught me so much over the years, always encouraged and supported me, and also helped make me the strong-willed person that I am today. I remember as a little girl him chasing me through the house with shaving cream all over his face and finally catching me and kissing my cheeks getting it all over me. It would make me so mad, but I look back on that and smile. Thanks for everything Robert.

I go back to the camp tomorrow at 3. I plan on going into Beaumont to have lunch with my Nanny, then depending on time might get a massage because I am having problems with my shoulder. I have been in pain constantly so please pray for healing. This week we have camp "Blessing." This camp is for special needs children. I think this will be eye opening. Continue to pray for me. God is doing huge things!

Indescribable.

Again, I am not sure how to say this or put it into words. Sometimes those "God things" cannot be described. It's something so deep inside that only you and God know what it is. I had another one of those nights.


Today is the day I took my stand and spoke to around 300 people. God gave me the opportunity to be in the concession stand for 5 hours by myself to gather my thoughts. But honestly, I was not that worried about it. I did not spend much time going over it in my head because I knew that God was going to speak through me and give me the words to say. As the time drew nearer I started to get that feeling in my stomach. I went over what I wanted to say one more time and prayed that God would use me, take away my nerves, and let all the glory go to Him. I felt peace after that. We went over to the tabernacle and the band was doing sound check by playing a few songs. I could already feel the spirit. When the kids came in and got settled in their chairs Joey got up and gave some words about Ghana and their decision to follow Jesus. He handed the mic off the me and my nerves left me. I stopped once at the beginning because I was getting ahead of myself and in that pause I let go and let God do the rest. He spoke through me and was holding my hand the entire way. The fear left me. I shared with them how God began to desires in my heart to do more and to not live just an average life. I also told them what the summer staff does and how we are going to Ghana at the end of the summer. I elaborated more on those things as well. I would have never thought in a million years that God would call me to be a speaker for Him or bless me with that gift. But I feel more confident than I ever have. And my trust in God has become stronger because He stayed true to His promise. He took care of me. He is so good. After I spoke they prayed over us and it was powerful! Then the guy began to tell the kids about an offering and to come to the front as God leads them to leave money. We were on the front row and as the band began to play the kids came walking up and dropped money in the bowl. I broke down. This is the part that is so hard to describe. I really cannot tell you what was going on inside of me but I couldn't even stand up it hit me so hard. The same lady from lastnight that prophesied the gift and prayed over me came off the stage as they were playing and prayed over me again. I still yet to know her name. That was powerful as well. God is alive. There is no doubt about it. The spirit was so thick in that place and worship was amazing. Like I said, it is just so hard to describe what happened and what I felt. God is moving in my life and I cannot wait to see what is next. Continue to pray for me.

Unfathomable.

I have something to share with you guys. Something huge. It is going to be so hard to describe and to put into words what happened and how I feel, but I am going to try the best I can so you can see how awesome our God is.
If you read my previous blog I mentioned that Joey asked me to speak to the campers this week and how nervous I was about it. I also told you that God used me to bring His message when I had devotion. Well tonight the band that is staying this week to play for the camps came to do worship at our dorm. These people are BEAUTIFUL inside and out.  They are so genuine and have an amazing passion for Jesus and their ministry. Well, we began to worship and I had a million thoughts going through my head, but towards the second and third song I began to shut them off and focus on the Lord and I just cried. Tears were streaming down my face and I don't know why. I was broken and the Holy Spirit was stirring in my heart. At the end the group prayed for us and the lady singer kneeled down in front of me and grabbed my hand. After the group prayed and we said Amen she looked at me and said that she seen the tears in my eyes and she heard the Holy Spirit telling her to tell me that God is going to provide boldness and that He is going to make me a speaker and hat I am going to be fearless and He is going to use me. I have never met this woman or spoken to her one time and God used her to comfort me and prophesy what He is going to make me. This was the most amazing experience ever. The past few days I have felt like God was trying to get me out of my comfort zone by making me speak so much, but I never thought that His plan was for me to speak for Him. The entire atmosphere tonight was God centered and the music was incredible. Jesus filled that room. Jesus filled my heart. I am not sure what God has planned for me, but He has given me confidence to trust Him tonight and to follow Him because He promises to take care of me and provide. He has given me a new gift and I want to exercise it to glorify Him. He is beyond worthy. I feel so inadequate and unworthy though. Who am I that He would use me? I am reminded of His amazing grace and love in this time. I am His child and I am called for a purpose. His purpose. A greater purpose. I just cannot fathom this right now. Pray for me as I take this giant leap of faith. God is about to move in big ways.

Testing.

The past few days have been horrible. It's so hard for me to stay positive and to do everything that is set before me with a willing heart. It's hard not to complain and sometimes I just want to give up because people start to aggravate me. But one thing that I know for sure is that God has me here for a reason. Right now I think He is testing me. Over and over and over again.. and I keep failing. I get weighed down and now that I think about it, I haven't been praying in these times. I never just stop and give it over to God so He can change my perspective. Do not get me wrong, I absolutely love it here. We all have those days sometimes and I guess mine have just been more frequent. When it is all said and done and all the staff are sitting at the dining room table, or hanging out in our living area and we are laughing and having fellowship.. it is so worth it. I keep reminding myself that I am doing this for the Lord and for this trip to Ghana. He will get me through this and He will grow me up in my faith as well. So just keep me lifted in prayer please. It's tough, but I have been getting so much encouragement from my church family. It keeps me going.

I was able to go home late lastnight and attended church this morning. I did not get to visit much with anyone because right after I had to book it back to the camp. I wish I had more time. I love my church so much and it really hurts that I have not been able to attend. Scott and Amber I miss the most though.. I am so use to their constant encouragement and seeing their smiling faces as often as I can. I rarely see them anymore and was at the verge of tears just looking at them today. They have had such a huge impact in my life. Luckily they text me often and are still guiding me the best they can. I barely got to see my family as well. When I got home they were already in bed. I love my family and miss them. The only good thing about being gone so much is that when I come home my bubba is so sweet to me.. I never get that unless we are apart haha.

Joey asked me to give like a testimony I guess you could say sometime this week to the campers about how God got me here, what I am doing at ETBE, and the Ghana mission trip. I think God is trying to build up my confidence because I have had to get up and speak in front of people quite often. This is a pretty large group though.. I'm definitely nervous. But if I let God speak through me like I did at my devotion there is no doubt that I can do this without being so nervous.

Continue to pray for me. It's tough, but Jesus is holding my hand through it.

It costs everything.

I didn't post yesterday because I was dead dog tired. I spent all day in lifeguard training and I was exhausted. Today was the same way. From 9 to 5 we are in the pool or in the classroom. I have the most hideous tan lines ever haha. Tomorrow is the test and I'm pretty confident because we have done everything about a thousand times. I'm not complaining though. Yesterday I gave a devotion and God spoke through me. For those of you who know me know that I cannot speak in front of people without studdering (aruh aruh aruh... around-CIA insider). I spoke about what God gave me the other night when I was looking for my toothbrush.. Colossians 1. (if you read my previous blogs). Everything that I said came straight from God. He had it all planned.. The Holy Spirit convicted me to read my Bible, God gave me the scripture, then He prepared me for the devotion, and then He took over and spoke through me. That's pretty awesome. To God be the glory!

Joey, the missionary, had another meeting with us lastnight about Ghana. He discussed how we need to be communicating with others by letter or e-mail to put together a team. To give friends and family the option to support me by prayer, or financially, or even both to prepare for my mission trip. Prayer is a NEED, and so is giving to this ministry so I can go share the gospel. I also can use all the encouragement I can get. Joey mentioned that most people who are offered the opportunity to go on a mission trip always asks, "how much does it cost?" He responded to his statement that it's not just about the money; being a missionary costs everything. That kind of hit me. It's not just money I am giving up.. I might have to give my very life for Jesus Christ. That's scary, but at the same time I am comforted that I will be doing this for my Lord, knowing He will take care of me, and knowing that my salvation is secure. So with that being said.. if you would like to be on my team.. please let me know and begin to pray for me, the trip, and that the people that I will come across will be open to the Word. I will be sending out letters soon, but I would love your prayers and encouragement now as well.

Tonight the staff went and ate at TaMollie's and on the way up there Jordan and I worshipped to some Jesus Culture.. It was pretty awesome. Then we talked about our relationship with Christ and our callings. It's always so encouraging when I talk to other believers about what God is doing in my life and hearing what's going on in their life as well. We also had turnover and it wasn't as bad as I thought except that Brian and Dustin scared me like 5 times in a whole 2 minutes. It never ends haha.

I miss my church terribly.. I am hoping that I will be able to go Sunday morning. Continue to lift me up in prayer as I continue on this journey.

God is teaching me.

Today was far from what yesterday was. It was just one of those days and I let it get the best of me. After breakfast Brian and I got assigned to clean the bathrooms in the camper's dorms. Well, when we got to one dorm our keys would not work to the cleaning supplies closet. We spent probably about an hour trying to pick the lock with two knifes. After a while we decided to take the door off the hinges. We did our cleaning and then Brian took the initiative to put the door back on and forgot to unlock it when he did. So we had to do the whole process again. This took another hour to do because we could not get the door to line up. When we finally got it lined up I had to hammer the thing back in with my water bottle and smashed my finger. This did not sit well with me. I could have just shook it off, but instead I dwelled on it for a good while. I felt like God gave me a beautiful day yesterday and then tested me the next. As I was thinking about the situation God gave me a scripture that I vaguely remember in Job. I read this forever ago and it hit me out of no where today. It reads: "..should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?.." Job 2:10. This reminded me that everyday, no matter what circumstances, is a gift from God. Now that I look back on this small thing that happened today, I realize that God was teaching me. After having a perfect day yesterday and then a not so great day today, God is still the same and He still wants to work in my life even when He is showing me things in a different way. It's kind of cool to see how God used that situation to teach me. I need to work on letting things go and before reacting in flesh think about how God expects me to react.

After that blew over the rest of the day wasn't so terrible. I started my lifeguard training today. The man teaching the class was a pretty cool guy and had massive leg muscles. Not that matters, just thought I should add that because that's the first thing I noticed haha. He held my attention and I feel like I learned quite a bit. After the class everyone else went to the pool to start their training there. I was called to the ropes course. I belayed a few kids up the rock wall and my hand was starting to cramp at about the second one. As soon as I was done with that I had to go to the pool to catch up with everyone else. By the end of the training, I was dead. My arms were like jello from swimming and I felt like my lungs were about to explode. I am pretty confident that I will be a certified lifeguard by the end of the week though.

At 10:00 PM the missionary, Joey, had a meeting with us. We talked about Ghana and the people. This made me so excited. It is finally becoming a reality to me. This guy is so genuine and has a love for the Lord and His lost people like no one I have ever seen. You could hear it in His voice and see it through the tears on his cheeks. Be praying for this mission trip. God listens.

Another day with God's presence.

I woke up this morning to my alarm singing "Deep Cries Out," by Bethel. Hearing that made me want to get up and dance. I woke up with a joy in my heart. Last night it was about 1 o'clock when I was getting ready for bed and I put off reading my Bible to set up my blog. So when I was looking for my toothbrush I could not find it anywhere. I searched through my backpack a few times and I had this feeling like I needed to get my Bible out. When I got it out, my toothbrush was underneath it. I felt like that was God telling me to put Him first and read my Bible. I opened it up to Colossians and read about the Gospel. Colossians 1 lays out the Gospel so beautifully. You should check it out. But God reminded me of what my purpose of this summer is. To strive towards this mission trip to Ghana in August. I will be sharing the Good News with people that are thirsty for hope. People who are thirsty for the Word of God. When I read this verse it really spoke to me. "This same Good News that came to you is going out all over the world. It is bearing fruit everywhere by changing lives, just as it changed your lives from the day you first heard and understood the truth about God's wonderful grace." Colossians 1:6. How awesome is that! The same God who changed my life is changing lives around the entire world and I'm going to witness that up front. Also today the missionary we are going to Ghana with arrived. His name is Joey and when we began to talk at dinner about his experiences and what Ghana is like, I began to get so excited. I cannot wait for this mission trip to roll around.

On another note, I miss my youth group so much. I got a call from my youth minister today and he filled me in on whats been going on at Student Life. I am so bummed out that I did not get to go with them this year, but I know that God has me just where He wants me. I have been praying so much that God will do amazing things in each and every one of their hearts this week. Even though I am not physically with them, my spirit is. My youth group has been such a huge part of my life and it hurts to be separated from them because I love every one of them so much. They all are unique in their own way and full of the Spirit. God has a plan for them. I believe that He is going to raise up great leaders in that group and I hope I have set a good example to them. When Scott called me, he shared that a few of our youth girls were broken at invitation because they are now seniors and feel like that have such big shoes to fill. That really touched my heart to know someone looked up to me that much, but I could have been better. I could have done things differently, I could have done more. So my advice to them would be to JUST BE. Think about what that means. My father preached that to me one day and it really touched me and changed the way I live. I love them so much and God is  going to do great things in and through their lives. Always remember that we are nothing.. But Jesus is EVERYTHING.

Today I sorted out the concession stand and then built a camp fire for the campers to have tonight. Then Caleb and I went into the office to make lanyards. I saw a different side of him. We had a heart to heart and despite the way we treat each other sometimes we kind of bonded. We talked about our faith and the future. I really believe God has him here for a reason. He is very passionate about this serving opportunity and he loves it. It was just awesome to see that spark in him. While we were making the lanyards, Brian's daughter, Missy, came and sat in my lap. She just finished kindergarten. I braided her hair and she sang "Jesus Loves Me." This little girl has such a beautiful spirit. She then began to tell me that only by Jesus's blood our sins can be washed away. I asked her if she had Jesus in her heart and she said "YES! I asked Him." Wowww.. God is going to use this little girl one day. There's no doubt. He already is.

Continue to pray for me. I saw things differently today. God is starting to show up more and more. I cherish these little things that God shows His presence through. It's kind of indescribable.

Well, here we go...

So I decided to start a blog because my youth minister, his wife, and another girl I'm staffing with inspired me to. I think that this would be a great way to share with my family and friends what's going on at camp while I'm away for the summer. It will also give me a door to share my thoughts and my feelings. I have so much going through my head and this will be a great opportunity to sort it all out. Since I am just now starting this a week into my adventure let me fill you in on what you have missed.

Before we left Buna most of us that were going to staff from our church stopped by the church to pray and hear some words of encouragement from our youth minister. Dustin and Brian had already headed up to the camp, so that left me, Kayla, Nick, Brandon, and Caleb. Brother Scott and Amber (his wifey) began to speak truth into us and for me, that made all the difference. We ended with prayer and then went on our way. When I first got to my dorm, I was greeted by a girl named Salena. I'm sure you will hear a lot about Salena down the road. ;) Anyway, I picked out my bed and my bestfriend (Kayla) bunked beside me. I didn't have a lot of time to get settled in because we had to go to lunch and then start our orientation. Orientation was FOREVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR long. But as James, Andy, and Mrs. Frankie began to speak I was quick to notice thier passion for what they do and their love for the Lord. I could feel the spirit moving inside me when they began to talk about what they feel God has planned for this summer. The rest of the week we cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned. Mrs. Frankie had us "rewarsh" every single pot and pan in that kitchen. After about three days, we finally finished. Me and Brandon had the privledge to make the famous meatloaf Mrs. Frankie cooks. We were both elbow deep in it. My fingers were frozen because the beef wasn't thawed all the way. But ohhhhhhhhhhh myyy goshhh it was good. We also have been doing some training on the ropes course. That is my favorite. I learned how to make different types of knots, how to harness someone up, and how to belay them. Oh, and I mastered the rock wall! Haha which surprised me because I have no upper body strength what so ever. I also was the test dummy on the huge swing that I almost lost my life on. The "mules" thought it would be funny to pull me up farther than the limbs. I about lost it. By the end of the week I was worn smooth out... James let us go home Saturday night and I slept all day today and now I am back at the camp. This week, will be the first week that we are having campers here. I am looking forward to it.

Before coming into this I was hoping to grow in my relationship with Christ and to learn to be selfless. Although it's only been a week into it, I have found this to be a big challenge. By the end of the day I am so tired that I don't feel like reading my Bible or journaling. And because I'm in a room with a lot of people.. it's hard to have the quiet time I want to have. It is also hard to be positive at times and to be an encouragement to others. I fail a lot. But this is all a learning process and I have been praying for my heart to be changed. I want to strive to be all that God has created me to be. So as your reading this say a prayer for me.