Challenged.

This past week has been very busy. SNBA youth camp came in and so did my church and the surrounding Buna churches. It was so good to see familiar faces every day and kids that I have built relationships with over the very short few years I was in the youth group. I seen Jesus working in everyone of their lives. Although I was behind the scenes and did not get to spend a lot of time with them, it was evident that they were growing. I've missed my church so much and to see God alive and moving fills me with joy.

God also gave me many more opportunities to speak. Mikeal and I both spoke to the seniors about how God brought us to this camp, what He is doing through this summer, and give them a little insight on what we will be doing in Ghana. I got to encourage them to think about this as an opportunity for next summer. I also got to share with my church what God has been teaching me and how my summer has been going. I was only able to do these things through Christ. It still amazes me how God took my biggest fear and said, "You're going to be bold and fearless.. You're going to speak."

One thing that touched me the most this week was the morning before the campers left. We always have one service sometime during the week where all the staff goes and the camp prays over us and takes up an offering. Well for a while now I have been wondering: am I making an impact? Previously that week I was on the ropes course and I was just having normal conversation with some of the campers and encouraging them as I belayed them up the rock wall. And throughout the week I learned their names and would talk to them as they came through the serving line or while I was sitting in the gift shop. So the last morning all the staff scattered across the room and the opportunity for the camp to come and lay hands on us was given. As I am standing there two of the girls that I had talked to sporadically throughout the week came walking up to me and took my hands. Tears immediately came running down my face. It reminded me that what I am doing is making a difference. I love those moments when God reassures me.

Africa is getting closer and will be here before you know it. It's so hard to believe. I have so many emotions that run through me when I think about this mission trip. I believe God is going to move mountains. Not only in the lives of the children and people we will be witnessing to, but in my life as well. I think this is going to be a major life change for me. God has already been teaching me and preparing me for this trip throughout the summer and I have never felt so close to Him. Jojo has really been challenging me spiritually here lately and that's just what I need. Our Bible studies have been so deep. I see my faith in a new perspective now. He is so radical for Jesus and he passes that right along to me. I am truly grateful for him and his faithfulness to God, the ministry, and to us.

This week I am stuck in the kitchen. I have no interaction with anyone outside of the kitchen. Ever. And I am not exactly blessed with the gift of cooking either. Although, I am making the best of it. So continue to pray for me.. I burnt the toast today.

"How far would you go for Me?"

This week hasn't been what the past weeks have been. I wasn't in a very good mood half the time and I didn't feel like God was moving. I had skipped reading my Bible here and there and my prayer was dead. I'm guessing that was the cause. When we finally got off Saturday afternoon, on my way home I just let it all out and talked with God. I felt a million times better. I have now realized prayer is vital and when I don't talk to God then everything is off. I am going to try and start a prayer journal.

Last night I went over to Amber and Scott's and just talked about what was going on in my life and in theirs. I am so grateful that God has placed them in my life. They have made a huge impact in me and are constantly encouraging me and helping me through struggles and are there through the good times as well.

Sunday morning I got up and went to Sunday school. God moved in my heart. This was something that hit me pretty hard. We talked about Daniel and the story that got him thrown into the lion's den. Daniel wasn't very liked because of the king's favor towards him. The high officers and administators tried to get rid of him, but couldn't find any fault. So they concluded that the only way of accusing him would be in his religion. So they passed a law that stated that for 30 days if anyone prays to any God excpet for the king they would be thrown into the lion's den. Now this is the part that put knots in my stomach:

But when Daniel learned that the law had been signed, he went home and knelt down as usual in his upstairs room, with its windows open toward Jerusalem. He prayed three times a day, just as he had always done, giving thanks to his God. -Daniel 6:10

Hold that thought.

When I went back for evening Bible study we talked about Paul. This hit me just as hard.

Are they servants of Christ? I know I sound like a madman, but I have served him far more! I have worked harder, been put in prison more often, been whipped times without number, and faced death again and again. Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. I have traveled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not. I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm.
-2 Corinthians 11:23-27

So let's put this all together! As soon as Daniel found out that they passed this law he IMEDIATELY went up to the top room of his house, opened the windows for everyone to see, and prayed to his God. He knew the concequences and he prayed anyway. Now looking at Paul, he was imprisioned, whipped, faced death, beaten, stoned, shipwrecked, faced danger, worked hard, went sleepless, went hungry and thirsty, and didn't have enough clothing to keep him warm in the cold all for the Gospel. These two men made the choice to, at all cost, serve the Lord. So through all of this, God left me with this question: "How far would you go for Me?" My answer: I do not know. Would I claim the name of Christ if I was face to face to death or would I deny Him to live? I wish I could answer this with a absolute 100 percent yes, but who would I be fooling? Not God. He knows my heart. So at the end of the day on my drive back up to camp, I asked God to give me the faith of Paul and Daniel. To make me fearless. I want to be a disiple for Jesus that will give everything to follow him. Not just some parts of my life, but my entire life. I read a little more into 2 Corinthians 12 and I came aross this:

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. -2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Although I am, as it seems to me, weak in this aspect of my walk with Christ, God says that His power works best in weakness. That I will be made strong. So I take heart in this weakness, because I believe God is going to change me through it. And when He does, I will be able to take pleasure in the insults, hardships, persecutions, troubles, and suffering that follow.